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Written by : Jamel Werme |
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Thanks for this great article
Thanks for your comment Walton Rhinehardt, have a nice day.
- Jamel Werme, Staff Member
I want to talk to you about how to build and rebuild trust because it's my belief that Trust is the foundation for everything we do and that if we can learn to trust one another more we can have unprecedented human progress but what if Trust is broken what if your CEO is caught on video disparaging an employee what if your employees experience a culture of bias exclusion and worse what if there's a data breach and it feels an awful lot like a cover-up than seriously addressing it and most tragically what if a technological fail leads to the loss of human life if I was giving this talk six months ago I would have been wearing an uber t-shirt I'm a Harvard Business School professor but I was super attracted to going to an organization that was metaphorically and perhaps quite literally on fire I had read everything that was written in the newspaper and that was precisely what drew me to the organization this was an organization that had lost trust with every constituent that mattered but there's a word about me that I should share my favorite trait is redemption I believe that there is a better version of us around every corner and I have seen firsthand how organizations and communities and individuals change at breathtaking speed I went to over with the hopes of a turnaround there could give license to the rest of us who might have narrower versions of their challenges but when I got to over I made a really big mistake I publicly committed to wearing an uber t-shirt every day until every other employee was wearing an uber t-shirt I had clearly not thought that through it was 250 days of wearing an uber t-shirt now I am liberated from that commitment as I am back at HBS and what I'd like to do is share with you how far I have taken that liberty which it's baby steps but I would just say I'm on my way now trust if we're gonna rebuild it we have to understand its component parts the component parts of trust are super well understood there's three things about trust if you sense that I am being authentic you are much more likely to trust me if you sense that I have real rigor in my logic you are far more likely to trust me and if you believe that my empathy is directed towards you you are far more likely to trust me when all three of these things are working we have great trust but if any one of these three gets shaky if any one of these three wobbles Trust is threatened now here's what I'd like to do I want each of us to be able to engender more trust tomorrow literally tomorrow than we do today and the way to do that is to understand where trust wobbles for ourselves and have a ready-made prescription to overcome it so that's what I would like to do together would you give me some sense of whether or not you're here voluntarily yeah okay all right awesome okay so it's just super helpful feedback so the most common wobble is empathy the most common level is that people just don't believe that were mostly in it for them and they they believe that were too self distracted and it's no wonder we are all so busy with so many demands on our time it's easy to crowd out the time and space that empathy requires for Dylan to be Dylan that takes real time and for us if we have too much to do we may not have that time but that puts us into a vicious cycle because without revealing empathy it makes everything harder without the benefit of the doubt of trust makes everything harder and then we have less and less time for empathy and so it goes so here's the prescription identify where when and to whom you are likely to offer your distraction that should trace pretty perfectly to when where and to whom you are likely to withhold your empathy and if in those instances we can come up with a trigger that gets us to look up look at the people right in front of us listen to them deeply immerse ourselves in their perspectives then we have a chance of having a sturdy leg of empathy and if you do nothing else please put away your cell phone it is the largest distraction magnet yet to be made and it is super difficult to create empathy and Trust in its presence that takes care of the empathy wobblers logic wobbles can come in two forms it's either the quality of your logic or it's your ability to communicate the logic now if the quality of your logic is at risk I can't really help you with that it's like not in this much time but fortunately it's often the case that our logic is sound but it's the it's our ability to communicate the logic that is in jeopardy super fortunately there's a very easy fix to this if we consider that there are two ways to communicate in the world and Harvard Business School professors are known by two-by-twos nonsense it's the triangle that rocks if we consider that there are two ways to communicate in the world and the first one is when you take us on a journey a magnificent journey that has twists and turns and mystery and drama until you altima t get to the point and some of the best communicators in the world communicate just like this but if you have a logic wobble this can be super dangerous so instead I implore you start with your point in a crisp half sentence and then give your supporting evidence this means that people will able to get access to our awesome ideas and just as importantly if you get cut off before you're done ladies if you get cut off before you're done you still get credit for the idea as opposed to someone else coming in and snatching it from you you just gave me goosebumps the third wobble is authenticity and I find it to be the most vexing we as a human species can smith out in a moment literally in a moment whether or not someone is being their authentic true self so in many ways the prescription is clear you don't want to have an authenticity will be you great and that is super easy to do when you're around people who are like you but if you represent any sort of difference the prescription to be you can be super challenging I have been tempted at every step of my career tempted personally and tempted by coaching of others to mute Who I am in the world I'm a woman of super strong opinions with really deep convictions direct speech I have a magnificent life and together we have such crazy ambition I prefer men's clothes and comfortable shoes thank you all birds in some contexts this makes me different I hope that each person here has the beautiful luxury of representing difference in some context in your life but with that privilege comes a very sincere temptation to hold back who we are and if we hold back who we are we're less likely to be trusted and if we're less likely to be trusted we're less likely to be given stretch assignments and without those stretch assignments were less likely to get promoted and so on and so on until we are super depressed by the demographic tendencies of our senior leadership and it all comes back to our being our authentic selves so here's my advice wear whatever makes you feel fabulous pay less attention to what you think people want to hear from you and far more attention to what your authentic awesome self needs to say and to the leaders in the room it is your obligat
Thanks Pancinit your participation is very much appreciated
- Jamel Werme
About the author
I've studied history of computer science at Wayne State University in Detroit and I am an expert in sociology of conflict. I usually feel awake. My previous job was magician I held this position for 7 years, I love talking about ice skating and furniture building. Huge fan of Ian Somerhalder I practice bocce ball and collect basketball cards.
Try Not to laugh !
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